Morose .

I don't even know how to explain how I feel right now. I'm almost indifferent toward my own feelings. I feel numb and alone in my thoughts. There is really no body to turn to and I'm fine with that. I know this sounds like a dark sad soundtrack but Im ok. I need this I have hit rock bottom with my feelings. So many things have been swimming around in my head, things people have said, things people have done, but I cant always base what i will do off someone else. sometimes you to make a move. People are living their lives not thinking about me. So I should live mine. I think of a quote, "Don't make someone a priority when they only make you an option" I need to make a change. I finally realize that nobody cares if I stay or go so why wait for permission. Life is not like it is in the movies, the great love scenes are never quite as passionate in real life. The friendships are not as bonded. It takes much longer to get to the happy ending. I just want to be happy, I want to love and be loved... but it doesn't always work that way does it? I don't know i could use a hug from my mommy right about now. Gonna sleep now. Tomorrow is another day.