Dane (my brother) and I were talking about this the other day, We are really the same in so many ways but also vary different. I don't let my anger get out of control, Even when I'm beyond angry, I try not to say or do hurtful things to people and believe me I have ammo and guns loaded but I DONT use them. I am human, and of course I sure I have said something hurtful but I never intentionally try to hurt people. Nothing angers me more then when someone lies to me, or lies about me. I mean anger management rage comes from this I absolutely HATE it. I have enough things to deal with, I don't need someone telling lies about who I am as a person. If its true I own it but really If you think such bad things about me then get out of my life. I don't need you in it. I only want to be around people that a nice, fun, kind and respectful people. If you cant be that then Sayonara.
I don't mean to vent so much on this blog, but its kinda like my escape or my outlet dairy. If you don't like it don't read it. So I guess I just wright it, Just to get it all out. I'm not good at holding stuff in. I was tough as a kid to always express my opinion in a respectful way. Well I am vary strong willed and minded and sometimes its not as respectful as my Dad would like but then again nether is he.
The most hurtful thing that probably anyone had ever said to me came form my Dad and he said this. You are like a stray cat that comes to people doorsteps and they feed you, but then you never go away. and they are sick of you now. :'( brings me to tears just thinking about it. Why would he say that to me? it hurts in the deepest way. Yes I have needed help along my life some people have offered to help me sometimes and I took the help. I have never expected anything or taken anything for granted. I have tried so hard to show my gratitude and I have don't everything I can do to give back. I not rich Obviously! I cant throw money at people, I cant buy expensive gifts, all I can do is give of myself and that's what I have done. I don't think My Dad knows me at all, he judges me on facts that's are untrue and or when I was a teenager. I'm 27 NOW! not 18. I'm learning some others are with him in not knowing me. Words do hurt me but I'm strong, I will cut you out of my life before you break me.
I just hope if anyone if reading this that has felt misjudged or talked down to that you will know your not alone. Don't let the hurtful things people say pull you down, I will always here those words echo in my head, because it came from someone that all I ever wanted was for him to be proud of me. But I cant let it break me. XOXO
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