Monday, August 30, 2010
I feel like I only want to wright in my journal or blog when I'm mad, sad or upset about something. Why don't I ever really feel like it when I'm happy? I must come off as a mad, sad, upset person all the damn time.
So right now I'm having a fml moment. I feel like just disappearing off the face of planet. I feel like on 19 again in a bad way, I wont go into that. I just need to get a grip, and accept that I'm 20fricken6 married to a man that works entirely to hard and I have a baby. I cant cry over not being invited to birthday party's anymore, cause why would I be invited... I A MOM RIGHT. I feel like I have no one to talk to or maybe I could find someone to annoy with my problems, but it wouldn't make anything better. It doesn't help when I know they couldn't really care less anyway.
Awwwwwwww i just need to sleep.
Posted by Jessica at 12:55 PM
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Some people form my high school make me wanna gag. They were fake and judgmental then and they still are now. I cant stand people that sit on there high horse and judge other people cocky stuck up snobs. WWJD HUH???? And your trying to bring people to God? your doing a pretty sorry job of representing him. Some of the most hurtful mean bitchy and 2 faced people I have ever met came from CCHS- Don't get me wrong I loved my teachers and i have a lot of wonderful friends from there but the people I'm talking about put a bitter taste in my mouth. I'm so glad they not in my life now! I just cant stand people that are like... were soooooooo cool and popular and we all hang out and take blurry pix of are self's with are old instamatic cameras wearing black rimed gasses and drinking coffee. ahhhh! Its funny too cause they wont add me on facebook, and thank God. I don't want to be Friends... its just funny that we have all the same mutual friends hahah Im not the same girl I was in HS and If they even tried to act like they are better then me now, I would take them down a peg that's for sure. Hope we have a 10 year reunion! :)
Posted by Jessica at 1:38 PM
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I want her body! waaaaaaa haha
I love Bar Refaeli's Body shes healthy and hot and she it not a stick... she is thin yes, but shes got meat on her bones and she dose not have ribs popping out! I just think more models should look like this and not sickly.
Posted by Jessica at 1:32 PM
Its one of the most challenging things I have ever done. In one way I just want to quit and have my body back, but on the other hand I wish I was breastfeeding more. Waking up at 5 am with milk drenched shirts aren't pleasant. I feel guilty when I give her formula and I feel even worse when I go to the doc and they tell me I need to be BF more. Its something no body understands until there are a Mom and I never thought I would feel this way. Its just you wanna do what best for your child so you feel bad when your not or cant. It has not come easy to me, I didn't have a vary good start, I have been pumping and giving her formula and mixing it. I used to think I wouldn't mind not breastfeeding her but not I want to because its healthier for me and her. There is so many benefit's for both of us. AHHHHHH I just wish is was easy.
Posted by Jessica at 1:00 PM
Monday, August 16, 2010
If any one finds this and buys it for me I would be so thankful. And of course Ill pay you for it! I have been trying to find it forever and Im almost done with the one I have left ;( I NEED IT! haha
Posted by Jessica at 4:02 PM
Lately I feel that I'm having a real problem speaking with tacked. I feel so ashamed as some of the stuff that come out of my mouth and it comes out all wrong. I never say anything with mean intent. I have always been a tell it like it is person and I know theirs a time and a place. I usually use discretion. Well as of late I feel like I'm loosing my mind and my ability to speak English. I think I have been in Sweden too long... I need to get back to my roots and learn how to talk again. I wont blame intoxicating drink... but that was a factor on my birthday.
1. The quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense or revealing private information.
hahahah Ya that's pretty much not me at the moment! Maybe I am over thinking it and being too hard on myself, but I cant stand people that are rude! I would hate to become that way and be oblivious to it. I need to nip it in the bud, like yesterday!
Posted by Jessica at 7:11 AM