Thursday, January 19, 2012

Feeling like ish...


I just want to cry. I feel worthless and unwanted by the world. WOW such a depressing way to start off this post. I feel like Im not even asking much and I still can find a job no matter what I do. I dont wanna take the crapyest job because then Ill just feel sorry for myself. I wanna work in a restaurant or a cafe with cute fun, upbeat people. IS THAT TO MUCH TO ASK????
I mean I feel like I blew my chances a few years ago, I found a ad for a job as a chef at the only place in sweden that i know of that has English speaking only. It was such a fun place with nice people, the only problem is I could not do the work in the kitchen... it was to much for any girl it was heavy lifting of huge stove pieces every night and I just couldn't take it alone and that's what they were hiring for. So I declined but So graciously. In hopes that I could work as a waitress, I mean they were always looking for English speaking people. But after that day I never heard from them again, I worked my ass off for the 2 days I was training there and they never paid me. I had blisters and my feet ached but I showed them I was a hard worker and a fast learner. They even complemented me On that. S o why wouldn't they give me a chance to work in the restaurant part. I would be so good at that. Im just so sad, I wish I NEVER even tried to work in that kitchen, I wish I just would have tryed to apply as waitress . I want to work there so so so bad. Thats all I have ever wanted to be a waitress, sad HUH. i love working with people, I love making people happy. I just will never forgive myself for that and I really need to move on and forget about it. I guess it was not meant to be. :(

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